It has come to my attention that normal people don't post their inner feelings for the world to see. And normally I'd be like, yo I don't care what you think, I'm doing this because it helps me feel better. But the request came from close friends, not strangers on the internet, so for their sake I will move my diary offline onto Microsoft Note, which, btw, is a fricking great app for jotting down ideas and taking notes. I should have used it for all my years of uni, not just the last year. And I wouldn't have to use aliases anymore, I'll use the full blown first name, and I don't run a chance of messing up. I actually have an apology message to pre-type while stuff is still fresh in my head... well, relatively fresh; 1:24, tired.
Anywho, I'll probably release everything I typed to the public as my autobiography when I'm 90 years old or something. I think at that point it's safe.
I'll still write on here from time to time for items that's not about people I know. Like kpop or finance stuff.
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Thursday, 19 June 2014
Motivation to make money, a real one this time.
My dad showed me an article stating that cooks get three times the chance of getting lung cancer. I'm gonna say if my dad gets lung cancer, it'll appear in at least a decade more. So in one decade, I will have to save up enough money to prepare for the possibility of needing a lung transplant. If my dad dies of lung cancer because I didn't have enough money to pay for a private hospital to perform a lung transplant, then I'll have failed in life.
Money's not important? Shut your mouth. Money is gonna save my dad.
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Simple yet super important financial question that 95% of people get it wrong (including me).
I thought I was pretty smart with numbers and money, but apparently after my chat with my good friend from San Fran, I was wrong.
Here are two scenarios, and you pick one that you think has the highest return over 50 years:
A) You have a sum of money invested in something that gets you an 8% return per year. It is your own money, so you didn't borrow it, and you don't have to pay interest on it. You invested an initial sum of $100k.
B) You don't have a single penny under your name cuz you're broke as fuuuhhh. Every single penny you borrow, you have to pay 3% interest on it per year. You borrowed $100k with an interest rate of 3% per year. You invest the $100k in something that grabs you 9% return instead of 8%.
Which choice, out of choice A or B, would give you the highest return over 50 years?
Surprisingly, it's choice B that would net your more money over the long run.
Choice A nets you 4.70 mil.
Choice B gets you 7.35 mil from the investments, and -1.15 mil from the built up interest, so the net return would be 6.29 mil.
Choice B makes you 1.60 mil richer.
Don't believe me? Do the math yourself on excel.
So I guess the principle behind this is to borrow as much as you can for a rate as low as you can, and then invest it in something that has a high enough return to offset the amount you pay for interest. It's like effin' magic.
There is this other thing called the Smith Maneuver that operates like this.
Here is a YouTube vid that explains it.
Example of Smith Maneuver:
I buy a house. House is worth $1 mil. I get a mortgage from the bank to pay for the house. Let's say I was able to borrow $750k at today's mortgage rate of 4.3% over 10 years. Initially, I'll have no more room to borrow more money from the bank, cuz the bank is like, "Yo dude, we gave you $750k cuz we can take your house if you don't pay back, and you haven't paid us back a single penny."
So I'm like, "Yo bank okay, here's some money.", and I pay the bank back slowly, following the amortization schedule set out in the contract. So let's say I paid back the bank $2k. I say to the bank, "Yo bank, I paid you back $2k. Can I borrow that $2k again?"
The bank would be like, "Well, we're only suppose to loan you $750k because you put your house as collateral. You paid us back $2k, so now you owe us $748k instead of $750k. We have room to loan you $2k, and it will put you back to where you were before you paid us, which was $750k. Sure convolutionx, we'll loan you the $2k you just gave us."
So now they gave me $2k. My mortgage shrank because I paid $2k, but my overall debt did not shrink because I borrow $2k again. What I do with the $2k now is to invest the money somewhere. Let's say I just invest it in index funds, which historically gave me a return of 8% per year. With the practice you did above with choice A and B, you should know what will happen over time.
It all boils down to transforming your "Bad Debt", which is debt that gets you nothing but interest payable, into "Good Debt", which is debt that makes you money, and gets you interest receivable.
Here are two scenarios, and you pick one that you think has the highest return over 50 years:
A) You have a sum of money invested in something that gets you an 8% return per year. It is your own money, so you didn't borrow it, and you don't have to pay interest on it. You invested an initial sum of $100k.
B) You don't have a single penny under your name cuz you're broke as fuuuhhh. Every single penny you borrow, you have to pay 3% interest on it per year. You borrowed $100k with an interest rate of 3% per year. You invest the $100k in something that grabs you 9% return instead of 8%.
Which choice, out of choice A or B, would give you the highest return over 50 years?
Surprisingly, it's choice B that would net your more money over the long run.
Choice A nets you 4.70 mil.
Choice B gets you 7.35 mil from the investments, and -1.15 mil from the built up interest, so the net return would be 6.29 mil.
Choice B makes you 1.60 mil richer.
Don't believe me? Do the math yourself on excel.
So I guess the principle behind this is to borrow as much as you can for a rate as low as you can, and then invest it in something that has a high enough return to offset the amount you pay for interest. It's like effin' magic.
There is this other thing called the Smith Maneuver that operates like this.
Here is a YouTube vid that explains it.
Example of Smith Maneuver:
I buy a house. House is worth $1 mil. I get a mortgage from the bank to pay for the house. Let's say I was able to borrow $750k at today's mortgage rate of 4.3% over 10 years. Initially, I'll have no more room to borrow more money from the bank, cuz the bank is like, "Yo dude, we gave you $750k cuz we can take your house if you don't pay back, and you haven't paid us back a single penny."
So I'm like, "Yo bank okay, here's some money.", and I pay the bank back slowly, following the amortization schedule set out in the contract. So let's say I paid back the bank $2k. I say to the bank, "Yo bank, I paid you back $2k. Can I borrow that $2k again?"
The bank would be like, "Well, we're only suppose to loan you $750k because you put your house as collateral. You paid us back $2k, so now you owe us $748k instead of $750k. We have room to loan you $2k, and it will put you back to where you were before you paid us, which was $750k. Sure convolutionx, we'll loan you the $2k you just gave us."
So now they gave me $2k. My mortgage shrank because I paid $2k, but my overall debt did not shrink because I borrow $2k again. What I do with the $2k now is to invest the money somewhere. Let's say I just invest it in index funds, which historically gave me a return of 8% per year. With the practice you did above with choice A and B, you should know what will happen over time.
It all boils down to transforming your "Bad Debt", which is debt that gets you nothing but interest payable, into "Good Debt", which is debt that makes you money, and gets you interest receivable.
Sunday, 15 June 2014
Father's Day: You owe it to your dad to watch this one song performace.
I love the show Immortal Songs 2 because it has some great meaningful songs in the show, and today the show had another very emotional and touching song for me, and this time it has nothing to do with girls. It has something to do with my dad, and I'd like to share it with you all.
Please watch from 53:13, and please watch JinHo's introduction to his song.
It was a very emotional performance, and it really hit me when JinHo sang,
"Your blooming days were sacrificed, and turned into fertilizer to nurture my days."
It's 100% true. My dad (and my mom) worked in a restaurant for 9 years now, and they work hella long hours, sometimes up to 14 hours a day. They started off working 6 days a week, and now they're down to 4 days a week because of their health. They are literally slowing dying and turning into fertilizer just so my sister and I can have a better life. I am always grateful for this aspect of their sacrifice, and I'll do everything in my power to repay them.
Sidenote, I think my dad is pretty damn successful. He came to this country with literally $500 CAD in his pocket, and now he has 2 kids, one of which has graduated university, is going to Korea to teach English, and has the option to work on his blog, or to play music on a $30k grand piano, and also has a car to drive around and do fun stuff with his friends. The other one is also well on her way to success, having made it into the pharmacy program, and having a great work ethic as well. Good for you dad, good for you.
Please watch from 53:13, and please watch JinHo's introduction to his song.
It was a very emotional performance, and it really hit me when JinHo sang,
"Your blooming days were sacrificed, and turned into fertilizer to nurture my days."
It's 100% true. My dad (and my mom) worked in a restaurant for 9 years now, and they work hella long hours, sometimes up to 14 hours a day. They started off working 6 days a week, and now they're down to 4 days a week because of their health. They are literally slowing dying and turning into fertilizer just so my sister and I can have a better life. I am always grateful for this aspect of their sacrifice, and I'll do everything in my power to repay them.
Sidenote, I think my dad is pretty damn successful. He came to this country with literally $500 CAD in his pocket, and now he has 2 kids, one of which has graduated university, is going to Korea to teach English, and has the option to work on his blog, or to play music on a $30k grand piano, and also has a car to drive around and do fun stuff with his friends. The other one is also well on her way to success, having made it into the pharmacy program, and having a great work ethic as well. Good for you dad, good for you.
Dim Sum with a great friend
My friend thought I was gonna leave for Korea at the end of June, so he flew all the way from San Francisco to say goodbye. It turns out that he was misinformed, but I appreciate the sentiments all the same. We had a dim sum brekkie at a local seafood restaurant called Neptune Seafood Restaurant. Their food items were all of great quality, so it follows that the price for the food is a little steeper compared to other dim sum places.
I like talking with this friend because we think at the same level, though we don't exactly place all our values at the same places, but for the large part, I think our values align. The topics discussed, I would be hard pressed to find another friend to talk about the same topics as in depth. He paid for the meal. Part of me, the part I'm trying to destroy, felt glad, because it was $52 bucks and it was split just the two of us. Part of me felt guilty as hell because this dude flew in just to see me, AND he's paying for the meal? What kind of man am I? Siggghhhhhhhh. Whatever, I vow today that when I become baller, I'll fly with this friend to NYC and treat him to a meal at Jean Georges.
Hanging out with him really makes me strive to make a road for myself and become financially successful. If he can do it, then I can do it too. I'm not saying he's incompetent, and that if he can do it, it must mean I can do it because I'm better than him. Noooo. I'm just saying that I will work hard to join his echelon or die trying, and it'll be easier for me because I have someone who's actually there whom I can talk to and ask for advice to help me get to where he is as well.
Someday I'll get rid of this tunnel vision, but that day is not today, nor is it anytime soon. I have that dude who forked $470 to thank. I have my faggot spoiled ex friend who didn't work but spent his dad's money on frivolous stuff to thank. I have Ms. Zun to thank. I have all the news stories about affluenza to thank. I have my vow to my future family to thank. It will make me stronger.
I like talking with this friend because we think at the same level, though we don't exactly place all our values at the same places, but for the large part, I think our values align. The topics discussed, I would be hard pressed to find another friend to talk about the same topics as in depth. He paid for the meal. Part of me, the part I'm trying to destroy, felt glad, because it was $52 bucks and it was split just the two of us. Part of me felt guilty as hell because this dude flew in just to see me, AND he's paying for the meal? What kind of man am I? Siggghhhhhhhh. Whatever, I vow today that when I become baller, I'll fly with this friend to NYC and treat him to a meal at Jean Georges.
Hanging out with him really makes me strive to make a road for myself and become financially successful. If he can do it, then I can do it too. I'm not saying he's incompetent, and that if he can do it, it must mean I can do it because I'm better than him. Noooo. I'm just saying that I will work hard to join his echelon or die trying, and it'll be easier for me because I have someone who's actually there whom I can talk to and ask for advice to help me get to where he is as well.
Someday I'll get rid of this tunnel vision, but that day is not today, nor is it anytime soon. I have that dude who forked $470 to thank. I have my faggot spoiled ex friend who didn't work but spent his dad's money on frivolous stuff to thank. I have Ms. Zun to thank. I have all the news stories about affluenza to thank. I have my vow to my future family to thank. It will make me stronger.
Friday, 13 June 2014
Random thoughts on Shrimp and Life
I was at my parent's restaurant today, and I was deveining shrimp at one point. To devein a shrimp is not actually removing the vein, but it's the intestines of the shrimp that you're actually removing, and the black stuff in it is sand/dirt/algae. Whether one needs to devein shrimp or not in the first place is a whole other topic for another time.
As I was deveining, I noticed that some shrimps had a crap load of crap in their intestines, and the intestines would be bloated and black. Other shrimps had nothing in their intestines, and I could barely see the intestines because it was clear, with bits of black sporadically along the intestine. I started to notice a trend where the bigger shrimps usually had more stuff in their intestines compared to the smaller shrimp. This got me thinking, "Why?" Why would some shrimp get so big and have so much to eat, while other shrimps stay puny and barely have anything to eat?
Maybe because it's just set up that way. Maybe since some of the shrimp got a tiny head start, that head start allowed them to become slightly better in finding food than other shrimps, and that slight edge compounding over time led to the eventual gargantuan size of some of these mofos compared to its kin. And the same goes for the weaker punier shrimps. Since they were a little crappier in terms of finding food in the beginning of their life, they slowly lagged behind their kin, and eventually grew up to be the pitiful sorry little puny shrimps they are now.
This situation seems familiar. Life is like this in general I think. Let's say I'm a guy who came from a wealthy family. In my disposal I'd already have $100k to invest, and I'm 23. Let's say return on investment was 5% a year. In 50 years I'd have $1.1 mil. If I had the same returns but if I started out with $20k, like what I actually have in the bank right now, I'd only have $218k in 50 years. That's a 5 times difference. But you know what? If I was the rich dude with the $100k starting, I'd have enough money for a nice down payment on a house by year... well, by year 1, actually, because $100k is enough to nab you a $500k home, which you can then rent out the bottom, or the entire thing if you are so inclined. Doing so would put your return on investment way past 5% a year. And if the dude can start off with... let's say 10% a year on investments with a $100k initial sum vs my 5% a year with a $20k initial sum, can you see why the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer? ($10.6 mil vs $218k... which is like 50 times difference...)
Wow, what is this self pitying crap. Is it self pitying? No, I don't think so. I don't pity myself. I'm just angry that I am denied the opportunity that others have but squander. I'm talking about all those rich Chinese immigrant fuckers who smoke all day and drive their Audi R8s and Nissan GTRs and hang around E-Spot all day long with their pretty import model quality girlfriend gold diggers. They could become even richer than their parents, yet they waste their time and life with stupid shit. They don't deserve the wealth on hand.
#Bitter? Yes, #Bitter. I'm bitter. I'm cynical. But at least I have drive and will. Sometimes I get so frustrated I want to cry. Srsly.
On another note, I'm gonna try and ask this other girl out, but not for the same purpose as the one for Ms. Zun. For her, the purpose for dating her was to basically go big game hunting, and nab this amazing girl who I can picture, from the initial impressions at least, starting a family with. I know it's weird to say that about someone whom I only went out twice with, but you guys don't know how it feels to have an insane checklist that got checked off for practically everything. That shit doesn't happen.
Anyway, enough about the past. This new girl is a friend of a friend, and is part of the group I hang out with. She's 2 years older, but she's cute, and she's azn, so she looks way younger than she actually is. She's shy, which I like. She's a teacher that's currently working in a private school. From this description alone, friends of this group will def know who I'm talking about. I also gave them this blog's URL for some purpose that escapes me now. I'm banking on the fact that they would be bored of the shrimp talk and wouldn't read this far. I'm a gambling man.
So yeah, this girl. She's not as driven as I like people to be, and she drinks. That alone pretty much disqualifies her as a potential bearer of my children, but I got to thinking, dating isn't necessarily just to find the future bearer of my children right? Maybe it can also just be for me to be happy for now? I don't know. Am I talking like a loser? I feel like if I'm focused on my happiness now, I'd forgo future success, and I'd ultimately end up being a loser. Is there something wrong with me for thinking like this? Do I have to see a shrink? Nah.
So back to this girl again (I keep on diverging from the main topic, it's like I have ADD). I'll ask her out for a pre-date. It wouldn't even be a date. It'll just be a chance for us to get to know each other better. I was gonna ask tmrw irl, but her lil cousin is coming, and I don't want to make her day stressful by imposing that question on her... so I'll ask her... later.
I also like the thrill of the hunt, so that's a reason why I'm asking her out.
Maybe because it's just set up that way. Maybe since some of the shrimp got a tiny head start, that head start allowed them to become slightly better in finding food than other shrimps, and that slight edge compounding over time led to the eventual gargantuan size of some of these mofos compared to its kin. And the same goes for the weaker punier shrimps. Since they were a little crappier in terms of finding food in the beginning of their life, they slowly lagged behind their kin, and eventually grew up to be the pitiful sorry little puny shrimps they are now.
This situation seems familiar. Life is like this in general I think. Let's say I'm a guy who came from a wealthy family. In my disposal I'd already have $100k to invest, and I'm 23. Let's say return on investment was 5% a year. In 50 years I'd have $1.1 mil. If I had the same returns but if I started out with $20k, like what I actually have in the bank right now, I'd only have $218k in 50 years. That's a 5 times difference. But you know what? If I was the rich dude with the $100k starting, I'd have enough money for a nice down payment on a house by year... well, by year 1, actually, because $100k is enough to nab you a $500k home, which you can then rent out the bottom, or the entire thing if you are so inclined. Doing so would put your return on investment way past 5% a year. And if the dude can start off with... let's say 10% a year on investments with a $100k initial sum vs my 5% a year with a $20k initial sum, can you see why the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer? ($10.6 mil vs $218k... which is like 50 times difference...)
Wow, what is this self pitying crap. Is it self pitying? No, I don't think so. I don't pity myself. I'm just angry that I am denied the opportunity that others have but squander. I'm talking about all those rich Chinese immigrant fuckers who smoke all day and drive their Audi R8s and Nissan GTRs and hang around E-Spot all day long with their pretty import model quality girlfriend gold diggers. They could become even richer than their parents, yet they waste their time and life with stupid shit. They don't deserve the wealth on hand.
#Bitter? Yes, #Bitter. I'm bitter. I'm cynical. But at least I have drive and will. Sometimes I get so frustrated I want to cry. Srsly.
On another note, I'm gonna try and ask this other girl out, but not for the same purpose as the one for Ms. Zun. For her, the purpose for dating her was to basically go big game hunting, and nab this amazing girl who I can picture, from the initial impressions at least, starting a family with. I know it's weird to say that about someone whom I only went out twice with, but you guys don't know how it feels to have an insane checklist that got checked off for practically everything. That shit doesn't happen.
Anyway, enough about the past. This new girl is a friend of a friend, and is part of the group I hang out with. She's 2 years older, but she's cute, and she's azn, so she looks way younger than she actually is. She's shy, which I like. She's a teacher that's currently working in a private school. From this description alone, friends of this group will def know who I'm talking about. I also gave them this blog's URL for some purpose that escapes me now. I'm banking on the fact that they would be bored of the shrimp talk and wouldn't read this far. I'm a gambling man.
So yeah, this girl. She's not as driven as I like people to be, and she drinks. That alone pretty much disqualifies her as a potential bearer of my children, but I got to thinking, dating isn't necessarily just to find the future bearer of my children right? Maybe it can also just be for me to be happy for now? I don't know. Am I talking like a loser? I feel like if I'm focused on my happiness now, I'd forgo future success, and I'd ultimately end up being a loser. Is there something wrong with me for thinking like this? Do I have to see a shrink? Nah.
So back to this girl again (I keep on diverging from the main topic, it's like I have ADD). I'll ask her out for a pre-date. It wouldn't even be a date. It'll just be a chance for us to get to know each other better. I was gonna ask tmrw irl, but her lil cousin is coming, and I don't want to make her day stressful by imposing that question on her... so I'll ask her... later.
I also like the thrill of the hunt, so that's a reason why I'm asking her out.
Wednesday, 11 June 2014
Kiki's Delivery Service ((魔女の宅急便), and what I got out of it.
So I got a hold of a copy of every single Studio Ghibli movie. I watched 2 today: Kiki's Delivery Service and Howl's Moving Castle. I think I understand why Miyazaki is so beloved. His detailed fantasy worlds are very believable, and are quite imaginative and immersive. Nothing much is to be said of Howl's Moving Castle. It's pretty much your standard fantasy anime. Whimsical and heartfelt at the same time. What I want to talk about is Kiki's Delivery Service.
The reason why that movie got to me was because it visited a theme that is always on my mind: The difference in the lives between the affulent people and the rest of the working class and poor people. The anime clearly demonstrates the rift between Kiki, who's very nice and well mannered, and the rich, affluent kids/folks of the ocean side town, who were portrayed as bratty. The affluent people always seemed to be preoccupied with having parties, and doing leisurely activities, while we see poor Kiki having to bust her ass to make a few dollars so she doesn't have to eat pancakes all the time. I felt... rage? Indignation? Not sure, but it didn't feel comfortable, that's for one thing.
This one particular scene got to me. It's when Kiki was delivering the Herring Pie made by the friendly grandmother. When Kiki arrived with the pie to the big ass mansion, the grandkid opened the door, and immediately you could tell she was snobby as fuck and stuck up. Good job Miyazaki for portraying it so well. I really appreciate his work after this movie. He just portrays the human emotion/nature so well in his animes. Anyway, back to that scene, I didn't think it was fair that Kiki, who was such a nice girl, had to basically fight to survive, while that stuck up bitch just talks shit about her grandma and her Herring Pie, and is enjoying the finer things in life.
But, now that I'm 23, I know that the stuck up bitch will either end up poor after she uses up all her family's money after her parents grow old and die, or she'll remain rich and remain useless if she's not able to use up the cash in her parents' bank account. Kiki, on the other hand, is offering a unique service to the community. She has no competition, so she has monopoly on the market. I am not sure if her service has an equal substitute. Maybe the deliveries could have been made by car, but the city is full of rich folk, and nothing stops them from paying top dollar to get shit sent around fast. Perhaps as Kiki gets older, she'll realize that she can expand her business model, and start offering other services to the community, and leveraging her witch powers to the max. I'm pretty damn certain she's gonna climb up the ranks and will eventually become a rich witch aristocrat of the city. Hopefully her heart will remain pure and uncorrupted by the money.
The reason why that movie got to me was because it visited a theme that is always on my mind: The difference in the lives between the affulent people and the rest of the working class and poor people. The anime clearly demonstrates the rift between Kiki, who's very nice and well mannered, and the rich, affluent kids/folks of the ocean side town, who were portrayed as bratty. The affluent people always seemed to be preoccupied with having parties, and doing leisurely activities, while we see poor Kiki having to bust her ass to make a few dollars so she doesn't have to eat pancakes all the time. I felt... rage? Indignation? Not sure, but it didn't feel comfortable, that's for one thing.
This one particular scene got to me. It's when Kiki was delivering the Herring Pie made by the friendly grandmother. When Kiki arrived with the pie to the big ass mansion, the grandkid opened the door, and immediately you could tell she was snobby as fuck and stuck up. Good job Miyazaki for portraying it so well. I really appreciate his work after this movie. He just portrays the human emotion/nature so well in his animes. Anyway, back to that scene, I didn't think it was fair that Kiki, who was such a nice girl, had to basically fight to survive, while that stuck up bitch just talks shit about her grandma and her Herring Pie, and is enjoying the finer things in life.
But, now that I'm 23, I know that the stuck up bitch will either end up poor after she uses up all her family's money after her parents grow old and die, or she'll remain rich and remain useless if she's not able to use up the cash in her parents' bank account. Kiki, on the other hand, is offering a unique service to the community. She has no competition, so she has monopoly on the market. I am not sure if her service has an equal substitute. Maybe the deliveries could have been made by car, but the city is full of rich folk, and nothing stops them from paying top dollar to get shit sent around fast. Perhaps as Kiki gets older, she'll realize that she can expand her business model, and start offering other services to the community, and leveraging her witch powers to the max. I'm pretty damn certain she's gonna climb up the ranks and will eventually become a rich witch aristocrat of the city. Hopefully her heart will remain pure and uncorrupted by the money.
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
K-Pop update!
Man, the k-pop scene is buzzing with great new songs! 2014 so far has been a great year for kpop!
I'll just post some vids of the latest and greatest songs that came out recently. Enjoy!
I'll just post some vids of the latest and greatest songs that came out recently. Enjoy!
Monday, 9 June 2014
#Cynicism #Cantcompete #Bitter #99percentDarkChocolate #tableflip
Two tickets to Cirque du Soleil + Bouquet of roses + Beautiful sunset + Probably fancy dinner in Yaletown. Total Price: $145*2 + $60 + $60*2 = $470 (Or $720 total if VIP tickets were purchased instead of just regular front row seats, which is a high, HIGH possibility. I mean, if I was rich, the difference between $145 and $270 is not much. I'd ball out because I'm trying to court the girl, and I'd go with the VIP tix. I mean, if I was gonna go the extra mile and buy $60 roses, why not just add another $250 and get the VIP experience for Cirque du Soleil? I mean, I wouldn't have to put any extra effort in at all. I'd just have to purchase different tickets, that's all.)
Result: Got the girl.
Trip to Lighthouse Park + snacks + Milestones.
Total Price: $15 + $20*2 = $45
Result: Didn't get the girl.
Conclusion: Money is correlated with success in courting. Sample size of 1 is not enough to draw a conclusion. More samples are required.
This is just one out of a billion reasons why I need to get rich or die trying.
Result: Got the girl.
Trip to Lighthouse Park + snacks + Milestones.
Total Price: $15 + $20*2 = $45
Result: Didn't get the girl.
Conclusion: Money is correlated with success in courting. Sample size of 1 is not enough to draw a conclusion. More samples are required.
This is just one out of a billion reasons why I need to get rich or die trying.
Should I date again?
It's a funny feeling, not having someone to chase after anymore. I don't like it. When I had Ms. Zun in my crosshairs, my search was actually over, and I had moved on to taking down the prey. But now she's out of the picture for now, and I have to go back to searching again, which is the worst part. It's terribly hard to find great girls, and I always feel the pressure of trying to find one before I'm like 30 and practically ready to retire. It literally took me a solid 1.5-2 years of online dating to find this Ms. Zun. I don't like that track record at all. Very very worrisome.
I remember when I was with my ex, and we were like 1 year into our relationship, I felt at peace and satisfied. I felt like a whole person. It's because I didn't have to worry about trying to look for "The One", because I was already with my ex. I had doubts sometimes whether she was the one or not, but most of the time I was happy with her. She was someone I could be close with emotionally and physically. I guess I miss that aspect, having someone whom I get to share everything with, someone whom I can just love with all my heart without it being overwhelming or overbearing for the other person.
Now I don't have anybody like that in my life. But it's a trade-off. When I was with my ex, she was my everything, and I was pretty much her everything. That meant that I didn't really have much of a social life outside of spending time with my ex. Now I have a lot more friends I hang out with, and I've become closer with my friends, which is awesome. But I don't have anyone where I can slap her on the ass and call her beautiful lol.
Can I live my life without someone whom I can be super close to and whom I can pour my heart out to? Probably, because I'm living right now. Would I feel complete? I don't feel complete right now. I know what it's like to have an intimate relationship and I miss that feeling. I think if I were to find someone else, I'd feel whole again. This feeling of wholeness... I don't think it's necessary for me to succeed in life and make a lot of money... but it would sure make me happier and more peaceful, and that's also a measure of success in life as well, besides money.
Is the fact that I miss having an intimate relationship enough reason for me to date just anyone decent? I am not sure... let's pro and con this out.
Pros for dating a girl who's decent, but not necessarily fully wifey material:
-someone to share thoughts and feelings with
-someone to get physically intimate with
-someone for me to love and care for
Cons for dating the above girl:
-will break up eventually due to the fact that I wouldn't want to marry them
-will get emotionally destroyed due to breakup
-all resources, like time and money, spent on relationship will be for naught, shitty return on investment, plus you gotta factor in the opportunity cost as well of the resources spent
So I guess I'd be sacrificing present money and time for present physical and emotional gratification. The alternative would be for me not to date, so I'd save money, and the time I could spend somewhere else more productive, but I wouldn't experience that intimacy again.
Overall, I don't know. What a great conclusion haha.
I remember when I was with my ex, and we were like 1 year into our relationship, I felt at peace and satisfied. I felt like a whole person. It's because I didn't have to worry about trying to look for "The One", because I was already with my ex. I had doubts sometimes whether she was the one or not, but most of the time I was happy with her. She was someone I could be close with emotionally and physically. I guess I miss that aspect, having someone whom I get to share everything with, someone whom I can just love with all my heart without it being overwhelming or overbearing for the other person.
Now I don't have anybody like that in my life. But it's a trade-off. When I was with my ex, she was my everything, and I was pretty much her everything. That meant that I didn't really have much of a social life outside of spending time with my ex. Now I have a lot more friends I hang out with, and I've become closer with my friends, which is awesome. But I don't have anyone where I can slap her on the ass and call her beautiful lol.
Can I live my life without someone whom I can be super close to and whom I can pour my heart out to? Probably, because I'm living right now. Would I feel complete? I don't feel complete right now. I know what it's like to have an intimate relationship and I miss that feeling. I think if I were to find someone else, I'd feel whole again. This feeling of wholeness... I don't think it's necessary for me to succeed in life and make a lot of money... but it would sure make me happier and more peaceful, and that's also a measure of success in life as well, besides money.
Is the fact that I miss having an intimate relationship enough reason for me to date just anyone decent? I am not sure... let's pro and con this out.
Pros for dating a girl who's decent, but not necessarily fully wifey material:
-someone to share thoughts and feelings with
-someone to get physically intimate with
-someone for me to love and care for
Cons for dating the above girl:
-will break up eventually due to the fact that I wouldn't want to marry them
-will get emotionally destroyed due to breakup
-all resources, like time and money, spent on relationship will be for naught, shitty return on investment, plus you gotta factor in the opportunity cost as well of the resources spent
So I guess I'd be sacrificing present money and time for present physical and emotional gratification. The alternative would be for me not to date, so I'd save money, and the time I could spend somewhere else more productive, but I wouldn't experience that intimacy again.
Overall, I don't know. What a great conclusion haha.
Sunday, 8 June 2014
Experiment: What happens to me after 14 shots.
So I never got drunk before, like, piss drunk, so I decided to do it yesterday night, and document everything that happened. I decided to measure my drunkeness with piano performance, speech, and writing. I'll post my piano performances first, then pics of my writing and observations. I was kind of excited, because I always wondered, "What are the effects of alcohol on piano playing?"
Friday, 6 June 2014
The One Sentence I Never Want to Hear
"I wish we could do that"
When I'm sitting in front of the TV with my future family, and a commercial comes on about cheap vacations to places like Spain or France, I don't want to hear my family say, "That looks fun. I wish we could do that.", which really translates to, "I wish we had enough money to partake in that activity, yet still have enough money for daily living expenses plus longer term financial commitments like the mortgage, car insurance, piano fees for the kids, etc etc. But alas, we can't, because we don't have enough. Therefore I have a longing to do the activity."
That really bums me out. I'd feel like a failure because I can't provide my family with what they want.
Instead, what I want to hear is, "Oh, we should do that next year!" or "Oh, remember when we went on that trip 3 years ago?"
Now, I know what you're thinking. Convolutionx, you can't always provide your family with everything, or else they'd grow up as ingrates and not appreciate what they have, and they'll be spoiled. Actually, I plan to constantly remind them how tough life really is by volunteering at a soup kitchen as a family like once a month to remind ourselves of our good fortune, plus I'll think of other stuff to do that will make them remember their fortunate position in life.
I also want their lives to be limited by their imagination, and not by money. If they have a dream or passion, I want them to pursue it, instead of having to worry about money.
Actually, that might be a lie. I might want my son, or daughter if I have no son, to carry on the family legacy and to secure a good life for my future generations down the line...
Which would be bad if all my kids wanted to do was to become something useless like a painter...
Hmmmm.
All in all, money makes the world go round. I'll get some one day. I swear to all the gods of new and old.
When I'm sitting in front of the TV with my future family, and a commercial comes on about cheap vacations to places like Spain or France, I don't want to hear my family say, "That looks fun. I wish we could do that.", which really translates to, "I wish we had enough money to partake in that activity, yet still have enough money for daily living expenses plus longer term financial commitments like the mortgage, car insurance, piano fees for the kids, etc etc. But alas, we can't, because we don't have enough. Therefore I have a longing to do the activity."
That really bums me out. I'd feel like a failure because I can't provide my family with what they want.
Instead, what I want to hear is, "Oh, we should do that next year!" or "Oh, remember when we went on that trip 3 years ago?"
Now, I know what you're thinking. Convolutionx, you can't always provide your family with everything, or else they'd grow up as ingrates and not appreciate what they have, and they'll be spoiled. Actually, I plan to constantly remind them how tough life really is by volunteering at a soup kitchen as a family like once a month to remind ourselves of our good fortune, plus I'll think of other stuff to do that will make them remember their fortunate position in life.
I also want their lives to be limited by their imagination, and not by money. If they have a dream or passion, I want them to pursue it, instead of having to worry about money.
Actually, that might be a lie. I might want my son, or daughter if I have no son, to carry on the family legacy and to secure a good life for my future generations down the line...
Which would be bad if all my kids wanted to do was to become something useless like a painter...
Hmmmm.
All in all, money makes the world go round. I'll get some one day. I swear to all the gods of new and old.
My first follower! Bonus post for her. PLUS Conclusion for Ms. Zun
Well, turns out my random posts/rants about my life has managed to land me a follower lol. I wasn't gonna post a post tonight, but I'll do one just for this follower, as a welcome gift of sorts. It's not gonna be much, just a summary of my day today.
So, the first day as a guy who's objectively single again, I felt like I had to reinvent myself. I went out and bought a new old badminton racket. I used my sister's leftover BG-65 Ti strings so I don't have to pay for new strings, and got a pink overgrip to match the strings. The paint job is a nice chrome color, which they don't make anymore, for any of the manufacturers. $50 bucks for the racket + $11 for stringing, and I got the bag and overgrip for free. Not bad. The racket is an even balance, and it has a slightly larger head for a bigger sweet spot. Why pink? To make guys feel bad when I beat em with a pink racket. I want to put hello kitty stickers on it too actually. No joke.
Also got a haircut. I don't want to take a pic of myself, but I went and got a haircut that was very different than anything I had before. Shaved sides, and long middle, so I can gel it. Kinda looks like this:
Had the haircut in Richmond in this Plaza. It had like 5 different hair salons, and the first two I went to charged $33-$35 bucks, to which I said no way. The third place charged $13, which I thought was reasonable, and the barber was super friendly, and he shared the same name as me too. I'll def go there again.
Went to watch X-Men: Days of Future Past, and it was a great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the mind fucks and how it ties in with the trilogy and First Class. Okay, I'll admit that I've never watched the trilogy, but I did watch First Class. Went with the same group of friends. Good thing with that group is that there are some girls there that are kind of cute, and I wouldn't mind dating for physical intimacy's sake, but I don't know if they'll make great future wife/moms. I don't know if I should think about that aspect of a girl at this early stage of my life (23). But then again, why be with a girl when you know that eventually, you'll have to break up? If I know that from the start, why should I get emotionally and financially invested in said person? Well, I can answer my own question. I miss the emotional and physical intimacy of having a good gal around. Even if they are not marriage material, they can still be GF material, and sometimes I think that's enough to get me by. I am actually not sure where I stand on this issue. Maybe my follower can post a comment and enlighten me on this issue.
One good thing about having so much shit to think about, like how I'm going to make money and how I'm gonna find The One, I am never bored. I can easily fall back into thinking and planning. My time is never wasted, and my brain is never idle, except when I sleep.
Lastly,
Mah boy Taeyang came out with his new album, Rise. This song, Eyes, Nose, Lips, is great. The melody perfectly suits how I'm feeling about this Ms. Zun. She's basically gone. Actually, that's not true. Here's what I typed to her:
Which she replied:
I'm pretty sure she's just saying all that to be nice. She doesn't know me well enough to know how awesome I am, but it's not her fault. I hope this last bit makes all my 2 followers of this drama satisfied. I'll try this Ms. Zun again next year after I'm back from Korea.
Had the haircut in Richmond in this Plaza. It had like 5 different hair salons, and the first two I went to charged $33-$35 bucks, to which I said no way. The third place charged $13, which I thought was reasonable, and the barber was super friendly, and he shared the same name as me too. I'll def go there again.
Went to watch X-Men: Days of Future Past, and it was a great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the mind fucks and how it ties in with the trilogy and First Class. Okay, I'll admit that I've never watched the trilogy, but I did watch First Class. Went with the same group of friends. Good thing with that group is that there are some girls there that are kind of cute, and I wouldn't mind dating for physical intimacy's sake, but I don't know if they'll make great future wife/moms. I don't know if I should think about that aspect of a girl at this early stage of my life (23). But then again, why be with a girl when you know that eventually, you'll have to break up? If I know that from the start, why should I get emotionally and financially invested in said person? Well, I can answer my own question. I miss the emotional and physical intimacy of having a good gal around. Even if they are not marriage material, they can still be GF material, and sometimes I think that's enough to get me by. I am actually not sure where I stand on this issue. Maybe my follower can post a comment and enlighten me on this issue.
One good thing about having so much shit to think about, like how I'm going to make money and how I'm gonna find The One, I am never bored. I can easily fall back into thinking and planning. My time is never wasted, and my brain is never idle, except when I sleep.
Lastly,
Mah boy Taeyang came out with his new album, Rise. This song, Eyes, Nose, Lips, is great. The melody perfectly suits how I'm feeling about this Ms. Zun. She's basically gone. Actually, that's not true. Here's what I typed to her:
TL;DR = This wall o’ text is not sappy nor is it typed in desperation.
Hehe, don’t worry. I’m not as oblivious to the signs as you think I am. I just chose to ignore em all until you’ve “come clean”, which you have, so now I’ll acknowledge it. I was scrolling through my newsfeed when I saw the Cirque pics, and I gave pinky a gentlemen golf clap, because it seems his execution that night was near flawless. This revelation didn’t take me by surprise though, because I’ve already thought of most of the ways of how our little thing could end, and this was one of em, so I already have a lil something prepared.
To make your decision easier, I’m gonna tell you right now, go for pinky. Why? Because I’m going to be leaving the country for the next year, and I’m leaving July 28th. #Shyamalan #PlotTwist. Well, maybe you figured it out too. You’re a bright girl, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew I was gonna ditch Canada for Korea. I’ll be teaching English there.
My original plan, before I met you, was to just kind of date around on POF, and not even give it much thought precisely because it would be super short term anyway. I’d go to Korea, have fun, and hopefully meet a cute Korean girl I could date while I’m there. Maybe I’d even meet a fellow ESL teacher that I could date as well.
But then some sunuvagun called ThirdFloorasaurus (spelling is correct?), replied to my messages, and the TL;DR of that whole thing is, I changed my plan to accommodate for said person. I decided that the best strategy would be to see this person as much as I could before I leave, and establish enough rapport and feelings that this person would be willing to continue the budding relationship as a long distance one. Yes, I was willing to go to Korea, the land full of cute plasticky girls, with the status of taken, and basically turn off my radar that helps me hunt for potential girlfriends. I had a game plan all ready to go, which includes me mailing you little care packets from Korea weekly.
And we all know how that plan worked out. I don’t blame you nor I though. I don’t blame myself because I tried my best, and that’s enough. I don’t blame you because who am I to say what you should feel, right? And quite frankly, I don’t need you. My lungs will still expand and contract without you. My S.A. node will keep on setting the pace without you. I’ll still be as happy as before I met you, which, from all my activities, is pretty damn happy.
What I won’t be without you though, is that I won’t have the chance to be exponentially happier than I’ve ever been in my life if I had the chance to call you my girl, officially, for the whole world to know. But that’s fine, it only took me 23 years to meet someone like you. I’m sure if I search for another 23 years, I’d find someone to replace you
I hope you can excuse my greediness, and the fact that I wanted to hog you for myself, even though I’d be in Korea. So let’s make a deal. We’ll still keep in touch, you go date this Pinky person, and I’ll try my shenanigans in Korea. After one year, when I’m back again, we’ll convene again and see if the timing will be better. Sounds fair?
PS: I don’t mean to inflate your ego further, but I must emphasize that you’re pretty much cream of the crop, and you deserve the best of the best guys out there, however you determine what is “the best of the best”. Make sure this pinky dude is legit, and make sure this person brings out the best in you, and makes you strive to become a better person every day, like you’ve made me strive. Also, thanks for showing me that unicorns do exist. I’ve always doubted whether smart, kind, and pretty girls existed in this world, but then I met you. Now I’m never gonna settle for anything less. Thanks for setting the bar so damn high
PPS: I was planning to tell you everything during our next meet up, and I was gonna show you this vid, but apparently it’s not gonna happen, so here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxdsxZ8AeBU#t=545
Make sure you start from 9:05. They sung this song for me to you.
Which she replied:
I'm pretty sure she's just saying all that to be nice. She doesn't know me well enough to know how awesome I am, but it's not her fault. I hope this last bit makes all my 2 followers of this drama satisfied. I'll try this Ms. Zun again next year after I'm back from Korea.
Wednesday, 4 June 2014
Game Over
Yup, game over. Something happened and Ms. Zun is like distancing herself away from me. Doesn't reply to my shit on time, and by on time i mean within 8 hours. It's pretty terrible. I'd initiate the convo and talk about 3-4 different things, in 3-4 different consecutive messages on Facebook, and she'd only reply to one of the topics, a day later. I'd ask her how her day was like 4 times on 4 separate occasions on different days, and she has yet to tell me how her day went. It's fucking terrible. Among the items I talk about, one of em would be asking her availability during the week for a meet up, and she would never reply with an answer to my questions. I think I give up on starting any relationship with her. Now, I'm stubborn, and I won't admit defeat until I get a resounding no, so my new goal is just to squeeze a no from her so I can drop this without lingering thoughts of "What if I tried harder... maybe she would have said yes."
Am I sad? I am sad at the fact that potentially I could have been exponentially happier than I am now, but I have lost that possibility. Even though overall, excluding emotions brought about due to her, I'm pretty happy, I could still be happier if she was The One, and I managed to initiate a relationship with her. I don't need her. My lungs still work without her. My heart still beats without her. Do I want her? I thought I wanted her. After all, I have never met a girl who filled out my checklist, or at least a very large majority anyway. Of course I wanted her. But I guess it just isn't meant to be. I can actually find something to be grateful about in this scenario, in this one timeline out of millions. I can go to Korea knowing that I have left nothing behind me back in Canada. I don't have to go through the whole Long Distance Relationship thing.
And what can I learn from this experience. I don't know. Not to write her a poem next time? I dunno if it was the poem that did me in or not though, that's the thing. She might inherently not be ready for me, and no matter what I did or didn't do, she would probably still not have liked me back.
Ah! Yes, the most important lesson of all: She proves that it is possible to find someone with all 3 qualities.
I'll keep looking... but for now, back to POF.
EDIT: She posted this the next day
there's someone else who's been asking me out and right now i'm just getting really confused
I knew it. I fricking knew it.
Am I sad? I am sad at the fact that potentially I could have been exponentially happier than I am now, but I have lost that possibility. Even though overall, excluding emotions brought about due to her, I'm pretty happy, I could still be happier if she was The One, and I managed to initiate a relationship with her. I don't need her. My lungs still work without her. My heart still beats without her. Do I want her? I thought I wanted her. After all, I have never met a girl who filled out my checklist, or at least a very large majority anyway. Of course I wanted her. But I guess it just isn't meant to be. I can actually find something to be grateful about in this scenario, in this one timeline out of millions. I can go to Korea knowing that I have left nothing behind me back in Canada. I don't have to go through the whole Long Distance Relationship thing.
And what can I learn from this experience. I don't know. Not to write her a poem next time? I dunno if it was the poem that did me in or not though, that's the thing. She might inherently not be ready for me, and no matter what I did or didn't do, she would probably still not have liked me back.
Ah! Yes, the most important lesson of all: She proves that it is possible to find someone with all 3 qualities.
I'll keep looking... but for now, back to POF.
EDIT: She posted this the next day
there's someone else who's been asking me out and right now i'm just getting really confused
I knew it. I fricking knew it.
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