Random thoughts on Shrimp and Life

I was at my parent's restaurant today, and I was deveining shrimp at one point. To devein a shrimp is not actually removing the vein, but it's the intestines of the shrimp that you're actually removing, and the black stuff in it is sand/dirt/algae. Whether one needs to devein shrimp or not in the first place is a whole other topic for another time.

As I was deveining, I noticed that some shrimps had a crap load of crap in their intestines, and the intestines would be bloated and black. Other shrimps had nothing in their intestines, and I could barely see the intestines because it was clear, with bits of black sporadically along the intestine. I started to notice a trend where the bigger shrimps usually had more stuff in their intestines compared to the smaller shrimp. This got me thinking, "Why?" Why would some shrimp get so big and have so much to eat, while other shrimps stay puny and barely have anything to eat?

Maybe because it's just set up that way. Maybe since some of the shrimp got a tiny head start, that head start allowed them to become slightly better in finding food than other shrimps, and that slight edge compounding over time led to the eventual gargantuan size of some of these mofos compared to its kin. And the same goes for the weaker punier shrimps. Since they were a little crappier in terms of finding food in the beginning of their life, they slowly lagged behind their kin, and eventually grew up to be the pitiful sorry little puny shrimps they are now.

This situation seems familiar. Life is like this in general I think. Let's say I'm a guy who came from a wealthy family. In my disposal I'd already have $100k to invest, and I'm 23. Let's say return on investment was 5% a year. In 50 years I'd have $1.1 mil. If I had the same returns but if I started out with $20k, like what I actually have in the bank right now, I'd only have $218k in 50 years. That's a 5 times difference. But you know what? If I was the rich dude with the $100k starting, I'd have enough money for a nice down payment on a house by year... well, by year 1, actually, because $100k is enough to nab you a $500k home, which you can then rent out the bottom, or the entire thing if you are so inclined. Doing so would put your return on investment way past 5% a year. And if the dude can start off with... let's say 10% a year on investments with a $100k initial sum vs my 5% a year with a $20k initial sum, can you see why the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer? ($10.6 mil vs $218k... which is like 50 times difference...)

Wow, what is this self pitying crap. Is it self pitying? No, I don't think so. I don't pity myself. I'm just angry that I am denied the opportunity that others have but squander. I'm talking about all those rich Chinese immigrant fuckers who smoke all day and drive their Audi R8s and Nissan GTRs and hang around E-Spot all day long with their pretty import model quality girlfriend gold diggers. They could become even richer than their parents, yet they waste their time and life with stupid shit. They don't deserve the wealth on hand.

#Bitter? Yes, #Bitter. I'm bitter. I'm cynical. But at least I have drive and will. Sometimes I get so frustrated I want to cry. Srsly.

On another note, I'm gonna try and ask this other girl out, but not for the same purpose as the one for Ms. Zun. For her, the purpose for dating her was to basically go big game hunting, and nab this amazing girl who I can picture, from the initial impressions at least, starting a family with. I know it's weird to say that about someone whom I only went out twice with, but you guys don't know how it feels to have an insane checklist that got checked off for practically everything. That shit doesn't happen.

Anyway, enough about the past. This new girl is a friend of a friend, and is part of the group I hang out with. She's 2 years older, but she's cute, and she's azn, so she looks way younger than she actually is. She's shy, which I like. She's a teacher that's currently working in a private school. From this description alone, friends of this group will def know who I'm talking about. I also gave them this blog's URL for some purpose that escapes me now. I'm banking on the fact that they would be bored of the shrimp talk and wouldn't read this far. I'm a gambling man.

So yeah, this girl. She's not as driven as I like people to be, and she drinks. That alone pretty much disqualifies her as a potential bearer of my children, but I got to thinking, dating isn't necessarily just to find the future bearer of my children right? Maybe it can also just be for me to be happy for now? I don't know. Am I talking like a loser? I feel like if I'm focused on my happiness now, I'd forgo future success, and I'd ultimately end up being a loser. Is there something wrong with me for thinking like this? Do I have to see a shrink? Nah.

So back to this girl again (I keep on diverging from the main topic, it's like I have ADD). I'll ask her out for a pre-date. It wouldn't even be a date. It'll just be a chance for us to get to know each other better. I was gonna ask tmrw irl, but her lil cousin is coming, and I don't want to make her day stressful by imposing that question on her... so I'll ask her... later.

I also like the thrill of the hunt, so that's a reason why I'm asking her out.