Well, good news is that from yesterday's conversation, she doesn't exactly never want to see me again. She was talking about her OT meeting, and her advisor wants Ms. Zun to volunteer at a ranch for kids who have serious mental and physical illnesses, and she told me to go join her. Made me kind of feel good, the fact that she wanted me to go with her. I'm sure this gesture is genuine, because there was no need for her to lie like that. If she didn't want me to go with her, then she would have just told me about her opportunity, and leave it at that.The sad thing is, I haven't volunteered for a single second of my life, and I definitely am not qualified for this ranch volunteering experience. I mean, I don't have any experience with taking care of kids, let alone kids with serious mental and physical illnesses. What if one of em dies in my experienced hands? So as much as I want to do this with her, I can't, and I don't think I should.
Overall, developments are turning out okay. It definitely feels like a one way street when it comes to who's courting who. I'm definitely making most of the effort in terms of engaging in conversation and setting up dates. It's not that I mind being the proactive one, but I just hope that she'll reciprocate my feelings one day. I guess I can view my efforts as a long term investment with no guaranteed return on investment. Lol, financially, I'd never invest my money into something like that. But feelings and emotion makes people do strange, strange things.
Lastly, I've always been telling myself, "Yo, you've been too proactive mang. You need to calm the hell down and wait for her to engage you once in a while..." but I never do. As soon as she replies back, I get excited, and I reply back within 30 mins. I don't have the discipline to not message her for a day. I think maybe I won't message her today. And since I'm going to Mt. Baker, I'll msg her after I come back to Canada on Tuesday. Hopefully this five day period of silence from me will catalyze this process of courtship for the better. Either she realizes that she misses talking to me, and therefore realizes that maybe she is developing feelings for me, or she realizes that she didn't miss me that much, and will lose interest in me... boy, I really hate mind games.
Hmmmm, maybe I should say something impressionable to her today to make her think of me during my absence. But maybe if I do this, I'll seem too desperate, and it will be counter to what I want. Maybe if I don't say anything her today, it will make her wonder why, and she'll keep wondering until I come back from Mt. Baker. I'm kind of leaning towards the second option, because I'll juxtapose my seemingly lack of thought for her through not talking to her today and not saying goodbye with an act of thoughtfulness by getting something for her from the states... probably candy/chocolate, because most girls like chocolate. The contrast will surprise her and further heighten my gift when we meet up again on Wednesday...So somehow I gotta get Jack to stop by a Walmart so I can pick up some snacks for Ms. Zun, which means I have to convince Jack to drive through the Pacific Border Crossing instead of the Sumas crossing. Sumas is like a deserted ghost town; they don't have a Walmart or Walgreen or anything where I can get snacks. Sighhhh.
Anyway, some non-Ms. Zun related news, been hiking a lot lately. Got lots and lots of nice pics too. I love bringing friends hiking, because we all can get back with nature, and we can all spend some quality time together and chatting, free from technological distractions. There's this girl... let's call her 유냈스. She's friends with my other friend for a year now. They go to the same church. My friend was interested in 유냈스, and so whenever she joined our hikes, I try to be a good wingman and either remove myself from the picture, or take down other people with me, leaving them two alone.
First hike was kinda like a double date of sorts, except that I was definitely not interested in the 2nd girl, but I still talked to her alot just to remove myself and this 2nd girl from the picture, giving my friend and 유냈스 time alone to talk. Yesterday was another hike, and this time it was even harder. It was only me, my friend, and 유냈스. And this 유냈스 is pretty white washed, and has Caucasian mannerisms. She is quite chatty, while my friend is kind of the more stoic, silent, thinking type. And as for me, I'm chatty when I want to be. So she was talking to me alot, and all that time I was just nodding along, and giving appropriate responses once in a while, but I was thinking, hmmmm, how can I involve my friend into this conversation? It was hard! And during the hike, I basically either trailed behind, or led the way, trying to give them two space. When we sat down and took a break, I just kinda booked it and said I was exploring, and gave them time to themselves. I tried, my 친구, I tried. Hopefully he'll make a move on her. She's actually pretty, sensible, and single, and I think she'll be good for my friend. I kept on nudging him along and coerce him to ask her out, but he won't lol.
So now what? I'm going to work on another post, and talk about beauty and dating. I'll double check my packing for Mt. Baker, play some piano, and learn some Korean. And of course, try my best to get my mind off Ms. Zun, but it's a tall order.
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