Motivation to make money, a real one this time.

My dad showed me an article stating that cooks get three times the chance of getting lung cancer. I'm gonna say if my dad gets lung cancer, it'll appear in at least a decade more. So in one decade, I will have to save up enough money to prepare for the possibility of needing a lung transplant. If my dad dies of lung cancer because I didn't have enough money to pay for a private hospital to perform a lung transplant, then I'll have failed in life.

Money's not important? Shut your mouth. Money is gonna save my dad.

Kiki's Delivery Service ((魔女の宅急便), and what I got out of it.

So I got a hold of a copy of every single Studio Ghibli movie. I watched 2 today: Kiki's Delivery Service and Howl's Moving Castle. I think I understand why Miyazaki is so beloved. His detailed fantasy worlds are very believable, and are quite imaginative and immersive. Nothing much is to be said of Howl's Moving Castle. It's pretty much your standard fantasy anime. Whimsical and heartfelt at the same time. What I want to talk about is Kiki's Delivery Service.



The reason why that movie got to me was because it visited a theme that is always on my mind: The difference in the lives between the affulent people and the rest of the working class and poor people. The anime clearly demonstrates the rift between Kiki, who's very nice and well mannered, and the rich, affluent kids/folks of the ocean side town, who were portrayed as bratty. The affluent people always seemed to be preoccupied with having parties, and doing leisurely activities, while we see poor Kiki having to bust her ass to make a few dollars so she doesn't have to eat pancakes all the time. I felt... rage? Indignation? Not sure, but it didn't feel comfortable, that's for one thing.

This one particular scene got to me. It's when Kiki was delivering the Herring Pie made by the friendly grandmother. When Kiki arrived with the pie to the big ass mansion, the grandkid opened the door, and immediately you could tell she was snobby as fuck and stuck up. Good job Miyazaki for portraying it so well. I really appreciate his work after this movie. He just portrays the human emotion/nature so well in his animes. Anyway, back to that scene, I didn't think it was fair that Kiki, who was such a nice girl, had to basically fight to survive, while that stuck up bitch just talks shit about her grandma and her Herring Pie, and is enjoying the finer things in life.

But, now that I'm 23, I know that the stuck up bitch will either end up poor after she uses up all her family's money after her parents grow old and die, or she'll remain rich and remain useless if she's not able to use up the cash in her parents' bank account. Kiki, on the other hand, is offering a unique service to the community. She has no competition, so she has monopoly on the market. I am not sure if her service has an equal substitute. Maybe the deliveries could have been made by car, but the city is full of rich folk, and nothing stops them from paying top dollar to get shit sent around fast. Perhaps as Kiki gets older, she'll realize that she can expand her business model, and start offering other services to the community, and leveraging her witch powers to the max. I'm pretty damn certain she's gonna climb up the ranks and will eventually become a rich witch aristocrat of the city. Hopefully her heart will remain pure and uncorrupted by the money.

K-Pop update!

Man, the k-pop scene is buzzing with great new songs! 2014 so far has been a great year for kpop!
I'll just post some vids of the latest and greatest songs that came out recently. Enjoy!

#Cynicism #Cantcompete #Bitter #99percentDarkChocolate #tableflip

Two tickets to Cirque du Soleil + Bouquet of roses + Beautiful sunset + Probably fancy dinner in Yaletown. Total Price: $145*2 + $60 + $60*2 = $470 (Or $720 total if VIP tickets were purchased instead of just regular front row seats, which is a high, HIGH possibility. I mean, if I was rich, the difference between $145 and $270 is not much. I'd ball out because I'm trying to court the girl, and I'd go with the VIP tix. I mean, if I was gonna go the extra mile and buy $60 roses, why not just add another $250 and get the VIP experience for Cirque du Soleil? I mean, I wouldn't have to put any extra effort in at all. I'd just have to purchase different tickets, that's all.)

Result: Got the girl.

Trip to Lighthouse Park + snacks + Milestones.
Total Price: $15 + $20*2 = $45

Result: Didn't get the girl.

Conclusion: Money is correlated with success in courting. Sample size of 1 is not enough to draw a conclusion. More samples are required.

This is just one out of a billion reasons why I need to get rich or die trying.

"Volunteering" - the most misleading term ever

This is just me letting off some steam. Volunteering is to willingly work at an organization without being paid. And I thought, growing up, that volunteering is "voluntary", because that's the root of the word. So I never bothered to volunteer in highschool, and in university. I thought that the experience I get from working would be similar to experiences gotten from volunteering. And in a way... it's true. You improve your interpersonal skills no matter if you're working or if you're volunteering. But I have found out too late that if you want to get into health care related fields, you'd have to volunteer. It's mandatory. Volunteering is involuntary and compulsory, which goes entirely against the spirit of volunteering. Like, volunteering should be done with the intent of helping people without any personal gain. But if entering the health care field is set up in such a way that it makes volunteering a requirement to get into public health care programs, then people would volunteer with the intent of making it into the programs they want to join, and not necessarily with the intent to help people.

Don't get me wrong, there are nice people out there who volunteer for the right reasons, and they get into med school or whatnot for the right reasons. But there are also those who volunteer for the sake of getting into programs, and not to help people. I must say, now that I look back on it, I'd probably be a wrong person to enter the public health field... I think. I'm not sure. I'm certainly a kind person... but I don't know if you can call me selfless in that I'll be willing to help anyone. I'm selfless for my family, and maybe my close friends, but I certainly won't give much thought about the troubles of strangers, which is basically the spirit of public health, right? Public health requires you to be concerned for the well being of strangers. And I guess since I haven't volunteered, I don't know the degree of my concern for the  misfortunes of people I don't know.

But whatever the case is, no one told me volunteering was a must to get into the public health field, so now I'm like a fish out of water if I want to pursue that field. I've still got the pharmaceutical business/sales, and I still got bioinformatics. I'm not exactly dead yet, and I'll keep fighting for myself and for the person I'll eventually marry.

I found the mythical Loch Ness Monster!

Metaphorically speaking of course. I didn't actually go to Scottland and find Nessie. But I found something as legendary... let me explain.

Growing up, I have come to meet a lot of girls. And from all my interactions with them, I could safely generalize and group girls based on 3 attributes: Beauty, Intelligence, and Kindess/Maturity. I discovered that basically for girls, it was "choose 2 of the 3 qualities". I've met girls that were kind and smart, but not so pretty. I've met girls who were pretty and kind, but not so intelligent. I've met girls who were smart and pretty, but not so nice. I couldn't seem to find a girl who was all three.
And of course, at this point of my life, I am aiming big. I want everything that the world has to offer. I don't want to settle in terms of finding a girlfriend. I want someone who's smart, pretty, and kind/mature, someone who's also down to earth. My friends, I think I have finally found that someone, and if you've been reading my blog since it's conception of like a little over a week ago, which I wouldn't even know why you'd still be following me since Day 1..., you'll know who this special person is.

Annnnd of course, it's Ms. Zun. I know I seem like I'm obsessed with her, but I don't want to come across like that though. It's kind of like seeing a unicorn. Obviously, if you see a unicorn, you're not gonna keep it to yourself right? You'd be all excited, and you'll tell your friends and family, right? Well, it's sort of the same with Ms. Zun. She's practically a god damn unicorn. She's the fabled "female with a complete quality triforce". She's pretty, smart, funny, kind, mature, and interesting. Now, you must be going, "Convolutionx, it's just that you're young and you don't know anything in life. There are tonnes of girls like that out there in the world, and you just haven't met enough people to meet them yet." Well, it still can't explain how it took me like 23 years to meet someone like this. Well, I guess you can't really count the first 20 years or so. I wasn't mature enough to recognize a unicorn when I see one, and the girls were also immature as well. They were unicorns in the making, but not unicorns just yet.

Anyway, I am really thankful for meeting Ms. Zun, because until then, I knew I wanted someone special, but I had no idea what kind of person that would be like. I didn't really have a measuring stick so to speak. I dated a few (when I say a few, I actually just a very little number, and not a few as in a fair bit) girls, and I had some sort of idea of the levels where girls were at in terms of their overall personality/intelligence/looks, but I still didn't know what the cream of the crop were like. Was I already dating the cream of the crop? Was it wrong to want all three qualities? Were humans inherently imperfect, and that there's no one actually like that? Should I stop being so picky?
Nope, nope, nope, and nope.

Ladies and gentleman, we have a Ms. Zun here, and I finally found someone worth my time to seriously pursue. I don't do things for short term benefits. I don't like wasting time dating around if I know I won't be with them long term. I'm not the type for flings and fwb and all that crap. I want to find myself a nice solid prospect, and stick with em. I finally found an outlet to channel my efforts. I mean, it's a waste right? Like, I want to be the perfect boyfriend. I want to make the effort, but I always didn't have anyone for me to make the effort for. It's like drinking 4 shots of espresso and being locked up in a small white room. It'll drive ya nuts!

TL;DR = There are such creatures called females who are cute, smart, and nice. I found such a rarity. Now I'm gonna throw a Masterball at her xD

GoT: The Game of Texting

I gotta make a complaint about why we play the Game of Texting. Although you might be unfamiliar with the name I assigned to the activity, you'll know darn well what it is once I describe it.
So you get a text (or message on facebook, but I'll just refer to it as "text" as well) from a person you're interested in. How many of you will text back immediately? Probably less than 5% of you. You'd wait at least 10 minutes for some, a couple of hours for others, and even almost an entire day for still others, before you text them back. Why do we do this? I mean, it's become such a habit that it's almost instinctual to wait for a certain amount of time before texting back.

The only thing that I think of for reasons for doing so is that you want to show them you have a life of your own, and they they are playing second fiddle compared with the rest of your life. Maybe this is also your way of showing that you're not needy or clingy. Maybe you'll hope that by delaying the text, the other person would go, "Oh my. The other person didn't text me back for a long time, I wonder if he's busy?"

Which brings me to a second point, which is that a delay of texting can make the person on the other end think about you more. They would wonder why, after several days of straight texting back and forth, you'd suddenly stop texting for a day? And it will drive them crazy wondering why you didn't text back. I must admit I am guilty of that yesterday while texting with Ms. Zun. I texted her in the morning, then I didn't log on Facebook until late at night, of which I saw more of her texts, but I ignored them for the time being until today, which I then texted her in the morning. The reason for doing so is because I was playing the game as well. I am worried that if I am available to talk to her everyday after 9pm, it will become habitual for her, and she won't appreciate my time as much, and take our chats for granted. I don't want that. I want her to wonder about me, so I guess my not texting her back is my way of piquing her curiosity and interest about me. Maybe this is perverted logic, I don't know. I'm just playing by society's rules...

But then why do these "unwritten rules" suddenly disappear when you're texting your friends? If my guy friends text me, I'll text them right back. In the end, they're still my friends, and they don't think any less of me. If you're able to text your friends fine without playing the Game of Texts, then why can't you text the person you like with the same regular way?

I haven't spent enough time to contemplate this theory and to grasp all the subtleties of why we do it. I'll revisit this topic later on when I'm done my exam today.

The pressures as the eldest male in the bloodline...

I don't know how it works with white folks, but this is what happens with traditional Chinese kids. Their parents raise em up til they are like 24+. The parents pay for education, and food, and clothing, etc. Then, when the parents get older and can't work anymore, it's up to the kids to take care of the parents, as a symbol of gratitude for all the sacrifices the parents had gone through to bring the kids up.

I am the eldest son of not just my family, but my entire bloodline both on my father's side and mother's side. Even if none of my family has great expectations of me, I have great expectations for myself not to fuck up my family line and to bring disgrace to the family (LOL soooo Asian, amirite?). I know down the road, I'll have to take care of not just my parents, but the parents of my future wife as well.



And on top of taking care of 4x elderly parents, I'll also have to take care of my wife, and our kids. So that's 7 people I have to provide a comfortable life with. And I know, you're gonna say, but convolutionx, these days families have dual income, so in reality you'd only have to take care of 3.5 people, or 4 people if you include yourself. Well, as a more traditional guy, I still believe the guy should be the main bread winner of the household. Not that I'd be against my wife making more than me, but it will just make me feel I slacked off somewhere, and I should pick up the pace and out earn my wife. The reason being is because I'll love her a lot, and I don't want her to exert any more force than necessary. I kind of want to baby her in a way haha. Sexist? I just call it love and affection.


Another thing is, it's not just about how many people you're carrying on your shoulders, but it's also about the quality of life you'll provide them. I was chatting with Ms. Zun last night again, and she told me she wanted 2 kids, and wanted to put them through the whole shebang for piano. That'll be $25k per kid. And honestly, I want that for my kids too. Actually, as a side note, I'm definitely gonna marry someone like Ms. Zun, or I'll straight up say it, Ms. Zun herself, because she shares very very similar ideals as me when it comes to raising le kids. Anyways, so not only do I just have to do the bare minimum to raise the kids, but I have to provide them with an exceptional head start in life as well. And of course my wife would also have dreams and aspirations she wants to fulfill as well, so I need money to help her reach her dreams. Again, as a side note, for Ms. Zun's case, she's quite the traveler, so hypothetically speaking, if she were to be my wife, I'd have to provide the vacation money as well.

So, that's approximately 1.24 x 10^3 ST (shit tonnes) of cash I need to make. And guess what's the hilarious part? I HAVE A BIOCHEM DEGREE LOOOLLLL. It's worthless, and I can't do anything with it that will help me make $70k+! HAAAAAA. So I currently have a goal I want to obtain, but I have no road to get there. I might have to make my own road... but how? I'm looking into bioinformatics for now... but yeah, soooo much pressure to be successful so I can have a happy family so I can be happy.

You might ask me, convolutionx, life is ultimately not about money. Yes, you're right when you say life is ultimately not about money. Life is about what the money can do for you, and if you think money isn't that important, then I'd have to argue, no, you're wrong, and. I derive happiness from seeing my family happy and prosperous. What does it take for a family to be happy? Often, it takes money. Money can be exchanged for experiences that enrich the lives of my loved ones, such as piano lessons, swimming lessons, karate lessons, badminton lessons (I'm a god damn tigerdad), providing my parents with the latest in elderly comforts, providing my wife with oversea adventures in the tropics of Amazon, or in the Outbacks down south in Australia.... everything needs money, man.

Think about it like this. Let's say I have an excited, energetic 5 year who wants to play piano. If you don't have enough money and if you can't afford the $25/hr+ lessons, then you're gonna have to look him in his bright eager eyes and say, "I'm sorry son. I can barely deal with the mortgage and car insurance. I don't have enough money to help you realize your childhood curiosities and aspirations. Your life has a limit because your father fucked up and didn't end up making as much money as he wanted."

Can you live with yourself if you had to do that?