Dating down the wealth ladder

Dating down the wealth ladder is a much more difficult issue for guys vs girls, but the same problem that faces rich guys also faces rich girls, to a lesser extent.

The major problem for dating when there is a significant amount of wealth involved is that the wealth introduces a new motive for pursuers of the rich to date the rich, and it's obviously dating/marrying for the money. A rich person, if they were smart, would always have that worry at the back of their minds: "Is this person dating me because they love me, or because they love my money?" It makes choosing potential mates very tricky, because sometimes people are very hard to read, and you may not find out their true motives until it's too late.

I've heard stories of people undergoing brutal, life shattering divorces. It's usually the wife who married into the rich husband's family. The wife marries the guy, has a kid or two, and divorces the guy a couple of years later, and takes half his fortune. The worst part, is that for some of these cases, the woman also takes away the kids as well. A prime example would be what happened to Jordan Belfort in Wolf on Wallstreet. I can't remember if Jordan had half his fortune ripped away from him, but he certainly lost custody of his kid. Maybe his cocaine addiction had something to do with the loss of custody, but others may lose custody of their kids regardless if they had done anything wrong to being with. It could simply be a matter of the father working 14 hours a day, providing for the family, only to have the judge rule the father unfit to care for the children do to his excessive work hours, which of course, the father puts in for the sake of the family. I had a coworker tell me of his friend, who was uber rich in Vietnam. Owned 3 houses, and I think he was a doctor, or some other respectable profession. This person not only had a bad divorce once, but twice. In the end, he was forced to live in a garage, and work as a mechanic. I don't know why he couldn't keep his old job though. Maybe the story was embellished, but it still serves to make a point on how rich people have to be careful of the gold diggers.

For us not so wealthy folks, we don't have as much worry as the rich. I mean, even if it goes to divorce and everything gets split, what's the worst that can happen? I lose my $400k house? It sucks, for sure, but it won't exactly end you, like losing a couple of million dollars. Since gold diggers set their sights on people of far greater wealth than you or I, we should be safe from most of the cutthroat gold diggers.

So all this was geared towards the rich guy. The rich girl... I don't think I have enough experience to talk about them. They are a mysterious breed to me. I would think as a guy, we'd be too proud to be gold diggers and marry for the money. But then again, there is an entire spectrum of doucheness in their world, and I don't doubt there are guys just itching to divorce their rich wives for the money. Heck, there are probably guys out there who married 80+ year old women for the money, and just waiting for them to die.

All in all, I'm sort of glad that most of my relationships are going to be lateral across the wealth ladder, or up. It's pretty hard to date down the ladder when you're already near the bottom of the rung. Also, the thing with being at the bottom of the rung is, there is nowhere to go but up.

Dating up the wealth ladder as a guy.

You see a girl you want to date, and she comes from a higher socioeconomic background than you. What to do?
Well, first thing is first, she is not going to be impressed with whatever you're going to buy for her. She has money, she can buy whatever the heck she wants. I think girls like that want stuff money can't buy, so you have to provide something for her that money can't buy, namely, a super boyfriend. No matter how much money she has, she can not go out and instantly purchase a boyfriend of superior quality. How her money serves her is to allow her to prospect from the pool of guys equal or greater than her socioeconomic status, aka other rich guys.

There are three types of rich guys. Guys who got rich on their own, and guys who are rich because their parents are rich, and do nothing to grow that existing wealth, and finally, guys who multiplied their parents fortune, surpassing the wealth accumulated by the parents. We can disregard the 2nd type of guy, because they are nothing but average Joes who were lucky enough to be born into a rich family. Types 1 and 3 are the main competition for the guy of lower socioeconomic status.

So, these guys are rich, and they have what it takes to stay rich. That reflects on their work ethic and intelligence. These guys are smart, and are willing to sweat. So work ethics wise, they're gold. What wealth can't buy for them is a great personality, and a caring heart. Not to say that there aren't rich guys out there who are also caring and are people magnets. I'm just saying that there are some rich folks who aren't such great people to be around with, one way or another.

So what does this little aside about rich guys mean for the not so rich guys? It means we can't compete with money, we can't compete with work ethic, and thus the only avenue for us to compete with them is through our inner beauty. We have to win the richer girls with our boundless love and care, and we also have to have great chemistry with the girls too. Money can't buy chemistry.

Where does this leave me? Well, I would have to work on being more thoughtful I guess. Now, I always have the girl's best interest at heart. What I consider myself lacking would be... "micromanagement" of care and thoughtfulness? Like, obviously for the big stuff it's easy. She got hurt in a car accident. Drop your shit, buy some flowers and gifts, spend time with her, comfort her, offer her silent confidence and assurance that everything is fine. She'll be calmer when she sees your inner strength and calmness.

What's not so easy is dealing with all the small daily idiosyncrasies of the partner. It's hard to notice the micro fluctuations of emotions and feelings that goes on throughout the day, and sometimes you want to nip problems in the bud before they develop into something bigger, but for me, sometimes it can be hard to notice the very VERY initial stages of a problem. So I guess what I need to work on is to notice the small details so I can preempt her needs and wishes, and take "caring" to the next level.

So that's what I myself have to work on to get the richer girls. I'm going to provide them with a boyfriend product that is rare in the market. For you guys, you'll have to work on your own issues. It all comes down to making the decision to become the better man, and to improve yourself daily. We poorer guys are inherently at a disadvantage due to the fact that we can't match the girl in terms of money, so we have to step up our game for everything else to make up for the fact that, no, we unfortunately can't join them on their 4 month Euro-trip with friends because of the $16k bill at the end of the trip, or no, we unfortunately can't dine at a 2 star Michelin rated restaurant every single weekend.