Motivation to make money, a real one this time.

My dad showed me an article stating that cooks get three times the chance of getting lung cancer. I'm gonna say if my dad gets lung cancer, it'll appear in at least a decade more. So in one decade, I will have to save up enough money to prepare for the possibility of needing a lung transplant. If my dad dies of lung cancer because I didn't have enough money to pay for a private hospital to perform a lung transplant, then I'll have failed in life.

Money's not important? Shut your mouth. Money is gonna save my dad.

#Cynicism #Cantcompete #Bitter #99percentDarkChocolate #tableflip

Two tickets to Cirque du Soleil + Bouquet of roses + Beautiful sunset + Probably fancy dinner in Yaletown. Total Price: $145*2 + $60 + $60*2 = $470 (Or $720 total if VIP tickets were purchased instead of just regular front row seats, which is a high, HIGH possibility. I mean, if I was rich, the difference between $145 and $270 is not much. I'd ball out because I'm trying to court the girl, and I'd go with the VIP tix. I mean, if I was gonna go the extra mile and buy $60 roses, why not just add another $250 and get the VIP experience for Cirque du Soleil? I mean, I wouldn't have to put any extra effort in at all. I'd just have to purchase different tickets, that's all.)

Result: Got the girl.

Trip to Lighthouse Park + snacks + Milestones.
Total Price: $15 + $20*2 = $45

Result: Didn't get the girl.

Conclusion: Money is correlated with success in courting. Sample size of 1 is not enough to draw a conclusion. More samples are required.

This is just one out of a billion reasons why I need to get rich or die trying.

The One Sentence I Never Want to Hear

"I wish we could do that"

When I'm sitting in front of the TV with my future family, and a commercial comes on about cheap vacations to places like Spain or France, I don't want to hear my family say, "That looks fun. I wish we could do that.", which really translates to, "I wish we had enough money to partake in that activity, yet still have enough money for daily living expenses plus longer term financial commitments like the mortgage, car insurance, piano fees for the kids, etc etc. But alas, we can't, because we don't have enough. Therefore I have a longing to do the activity."

That really bums me out. I'd feel like a failure because I can't provide my family with what they want.

Instead, what I want to hear is, "Oh, we should do that next year!" or "Oh, remember when we went on that trip 3 years ago?"

Now, I know what you're thinking. Convolutionx, you can't always provide your family with everything, or else they'd grow up as ingrates and not appreciate what they have, and they'll be spoiled. Actually, I plan to constantly remind them how tough life really is by volunteering at a soup kitchen as a family like once a month to remind ourselves of our good fortune, plus I'll think of other stuff to do that will make them remember their fortunate position in life.

I also want their lives to be limited by their imagination, and not by money. If they have a dream or passion, I want them to pursue it, instead of having to worry about money.

Actually, that might be a lie. I might want my son, or daughter if I have no son, to carry on the family legacy and to secure a good life for my future generations down the line...

Which would be bad if all my kids wanted to do was to become something useless like a painter...

Hmmmm.

All in all, money makes the world go round. I'll get some one day. I swear to all the gods of new and old.

Game on again... for now.

Even though Ms. Zun is playing some sort of game, or doing some sort of maneuver that is making my life hell right now, she agreed (against her better judgement, maybe? That's what it sorta kinda felt like), for a second date. Now, this is just a really loose interpretation. Basically I was like, free Mon or Tues for dinner or coffee? She said she was busy these two days, but should be free Thursday. I've done enough SouthWestern to know a blow off when I see one, and this is like a textbook blow off, so I'm not getting my hopes up too high.
I decided to be a little creative and create a "prix fixe menu" for her to let her build her own date, so to speak. Gave her a choice to drive, or I drive, or get to the nature walk in separate cars. Gave her 3 choices for nature hikes, and they're all easy 1.5-2 hour walks. Super super super easy. Then I gave her a choice of 3 different eateries for after.

I don't know where we are in terms of relationship-wise. Obvs I'm barely BARELY thawing her icy shield. I don't even know how my progress is. It feels like driving in a dense fog with no headlights. I'm just going forward, but I can't tell where I'm going or how fast I'm going. I ain't gonna press on the brakes though. That's what losers do. I'm gonna keep on striving to melt her ice, until I break through, or until she tells me to fuck off, basically. So for now, I just gotta assume things are going well, and I just gotta assume we're at the stage where we can go for a hike in the sun without her having to worry that I'm gonna take her into the woods and stab her or something. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't suspect such a thing though... I mean, I uploaded sooooo many Facebook pics of me going hiking with girls and guys, and none of my friends ended up dead, and no one wrote on my wall complaining that I tried to kill them...

I'm pretty satisfied with my overall performance thus far. If it doesn't work out, I tried my best, and the "fault" would lie on her, rather than myself. I will still love me, and that's super important. Of course, I might not be satisfied with where I am in life, and I'd probably vow to improve myself, just like how I vow now everyday to improve myself. Even though I want to change, I still love me because I have the strength and determination to strive for the change.










In life, if you have no cheerleaders rooting for you, you gotta be your own cheerleader. #foreveralone #nahjkIgotfriends

Confidence. Where does it come from?

From reading some of my posts, you may have come to the conclusion that I am a confident individual. And yes, I am a confident individual. Now, convolutionx, where did you get your confidence from, and is it warranted? Do you even have a right to be confident? Well, I'll answer that question. I believe I am confident for several reasons.

I think one big reason is because I am aware of my competency in life in general, and it's pretty high. More often than not, when I put my head down and just work, I achieve pretty great results. A big part of my confidence booster was doing the Southwestern Internship. I did this during my first 2 summers of my university life. The premise of the internship is to do door to door sales of educational books, take their orders, order the books wholesale from the company, and then deliver it to your customers. For my first summer, I made a little over $10k in one summer.

But I worked long hours during both summers though. 13.5 hour days, 6 days a week for 14 weeks was how long I worked. I did pretty well, even though I had no sales experience, so that gave me confidence that if I survived doing that, I can do anything in life well if I set my mind to it. In case you're wondering how I did for my second summer, I didn't do nearly as well, and I made an embarrassing amount. But, that second summer I can argue I learned more about myself than my first summer. I learned how to persevere in the face of failure. I learned I had what it takes to wake up after 4 days of no sales, and go out there in the rain, and knock on that first door with a big smile on my face. I learned that I didn't make excuses, and I didn't pussy out of doing the program and just go home. I learned that I can keep commitments. I committed to finish the summer, and that's exactly what I did. So that's just my Southwestern experience. I tried jewellery sales at Reid Jewellery in Metrotown with 0 gem experience, and I did pretty well. I did a co-op gig as a lab tech with no prior experience, and I ended up being a rockstar, after a period of failure though. I guess the only blemish to my achievements would be my academic record. I don't exactly have jaw dropping marks, but this last year, I managed to turn things around. Averaging 1 standard deviation about the averages for most of my classes.

Another small thing that people overlook is whenever you make a promise, you keep your word and you do it. If you're use to the fact that whatever you say is transmuted into action and reality, you'll have more confidence in your words.

A superficial reason why I'm confident is that I have a pretty nice body. I know, it's superficial, but it still makes me feel confident. Why does it give me confidence? I'm not too sure. I mean, no one is gonna see it anyway. Maybe it's because I know I have something that other people strive to get but don't have. It's like I have pocket aces up my sleeve, and I'm the only one who knows that. Here's some pics, and no, I don't even post this crap on my facebook or anywhere else. You guys have the exclusives to pics of my bod lololol. You should feel honored, all you random-ass guests who somehow arrived on this page from who knows where.

But I think the biggest reason why I am confident is because when it comes down to it, I don't care about what most people think, especially strangers. I mean, do those strangers know me as a person? Nope. Therefore, with incomplete information, their drawn up conclusions about who I am as a person will be incomplete as well and not valid. Plus, my self worth is not based on what other people think of me. It's based on what I think about myself, and I love myself. This frees me to do whatever I want with no worry, and a lack of worry about how others perceive me, in a sense, is confidence. I guess real confidence is knowing the fact that whatever you do, you know people will have a good perception of you. Maybe my confidence is less legit version, but I'm slowly getting there, to the legit version of confidence.

So just to summarize:
1. Be competent
2. Do what you say you're gonna do.
3. Have a body you can be proud of.
4. Give no shits about what others think about you. Remember, there is only 1 person who determines your self worth, and that person is you.

Should you do it? How I kill procrastination.

Have you ever had those moments when in your head, you know you need to get stuff done, but you just can't bring yourself to get started and to actually go do it? I've had those moments too. I recently found out a good way to help myself rationalize into action. Also, having something important in your life will also help motivate you to stop procrastinating.

I ask myself this one question, "If I were on my death bed, would I think back to this time, regret not doing whatever I'm pondering to do? Or, alternately, would I regret doing something, whatever it is I'm pondering not doing?"

IE: It's slightly misting outside. I promised to run (Well, lol, not really. I told Ms. Zun I'd run tmrw morning, so I guess it's sort of like a promise to her), but the weather isn't ideal, and it's cold, and I'm tired. Do I run? I ask myself, if I'm on my deathbed, I'd probably regret being a lil bitch and not run just because of some gentle misting. So, I run. Simple as that.

Also, you probably could guess what the second way for my motivation is. It's to have someone special in your life you can dedicate your effort to. For me, even though Ms. Zun doesn't know it yet, I'm going to dedicate to improving myself so she can get the best boyfriend possible, objectively speaking. That's right, I'm going to be objectively better, not subjectively, which is a tall task indeed, but if I set my mind to it, it shouldn't be impossible. So, have someone you love, or secretly like. Work hard for that person. Make it so that your worth while for them. Transmute your passion into productive energy.

I'll leave you with Chapter 11 of Think and Grow Rich. Napoleon Hill talks about how the most successful people had loved ones they dedicated their efforts to. Of course that's an oversimplification, and really, you guys should give it a read to get a better understanding. A memorable analogy was that a bull had lots of fight and energy, but if you castrated the bull, you essentially took the "maleness" from the bull, and you took away its essence to fight and strive. It becomes a docile as a bull.



I don't want to live a docile life. I want to strive and struggle to squeeze out every ounce that this life has to offer. Therefore, I'm not gonna castrate myself anytime soon, and I am thankful I have an avenue of which to dedicate my efforts for, which is, my dear Ms. Zun.

On motivation. What motivates me?

Let's start off with a quote from Harvey Specter:


Motivation is a very personal thing. There is no absolute one thing that is guaranteed to motivate everyone. However, there are some main areas in which many people are motivated by, and I think the things that motivate me are pretty ordinary, and should be motivation for many others as well.

A recent revelation of mine is that you don't exactly know when you'll meet your future partner. You could bump into her in a grocery store tomorrow, or she could message you after coming back on a dating website after a 2 year hiatus. Maybe you'll bump into her in a Starbucks in a Chapters bookstore. And when you do bump into her, you only have one chance to make the best impression you can. After that moment passes, if you weren't ready, you'll blow your only shot, and you'll never be with whom you were initially meant to be. If you don't immediately make her interested in you as a potential candidate, then sure, you could work your way into being friends with her, but then you'll just have your work cut out for you.

Let's take a pause. What do I mean by "not being ready"? Your future partner obviously doesn't want to date a fuck up, and wants to date someone successful and have their shit together. Your future partner wants to date you when you are at your best, and if you are not at your best, then you aren't ready for your future partner. You may be able to date girls when you're at your best, but secretly deep down, you know that special girl you always longed for is the one who's pretty, and smart, and kind, and gentle. You're gonna have to be on top of your game when you meet her to even get a chance to date her.

So for me, I am motivated to be at my best, 24/7 preferably, because I will never know if out of the blue, I'll meet The One. When I meet her, I need to be in top physical shape, my mind has to be at its sharpest, and I would have to be working in a stable and at least decently paying job. I just really hope that if I meet her prematurely before I'm ready, I'll still be able to make it work; I'll still be able to be with her, and have her wait for me to get my shit together. For the mean time, I hope my efforts and dedication to make something of myself down the road will be enough to temporarily attract The One long enough for me to complete my journey, or at least to be well on the way in my journey to success.

Another motivation for me to be at my best, and to want the best, is the fact that I have one life. We all got one shot in life to make the best of what we've got. We can't restart if we mess up. So at every moment of your life, you have to always make the best decisions. And since you only have one life, then might as well go big, right? You won't have another life to live it big. You won't have another life to experience what this world has to offer. So since you're here, you really should experience as much as you can before you die. That's why I want everything. I want to experience everything this world has to offer before I die, and that takes resources, mainly money, so it's a big motivation for me to make money.

On a related note, I also want my kids and my wife to have the best experience that life has to offer, so another motivation for me to make mad money is for my future family. I want my kids to have a start in life I never had. I don't want them to grow up in an intercity area, going to an intercity high school. I want them to receive the best education this planet has to offer. I also want my wife to live a life of comfort. I am hesitant to say a life of luxury, because I don't believe in luxury. I define luxury as having in your possession expensive material goods, like $14,000 hand bags and $200k cars. One doesn't need luxury to be happy, and certainly my girl wouldn't be one of those types of girls who chase after that crap. But I would still like to treat her out to experiences. IE: Dining at the best restaurants, going to exotic places, etc.

Lastly, my parents are my final motivation. I have mentioned this in my other posts, but my parents work 14 hour days in their restaurant, and it's been 8 years of them doing so. They're dying physically for my sister and my sake, putting us through school and life in general. Their efforts must be repaid. I want to provide them with a worry free retirement. It's the least I can do after their sacrifice. Again, it would require me to make money.

I have the lives of my parents, my wife, and my kids on my shoulders. If I fail, I'll be failing everyone, so failing is not an option. I have a burning desire to win, and I can't live a life of mediocrity if I want to win at life. Sometimes I'll have days where I don't feel like doing shit. I just wanna sit back and be lazy. But I think about all the stuff I want, and my want powers me. Lately, it's thoughts of Ms. Zun that powers me through life. I really need to be at my A game in order to date someone like her, and I'm afraid while I can put on the bravado of having an A game life, I don't have an A game life. I have an A game attitude, and that's all I have. And girls may date guys with an A game attitude, but if that A game attitude doesn't translate to an A game life, then it's harder to keep them with you. And if you truly loved her, would you want her to be with you, living in a B game or C game life, when there are other guys who can provide her with an A game life, and who cares about her just as much as you? I'd be like, "Yo, that guy's richer, he can provide you with more comforts. He is also as thoughtful and loving as me. You should be with that guy instead of me, because although I love you, and I personally want to be with you, it is because I love you that I want you to have the best life possible. I believe the best life possible for you is not with me, but with that guy instead."

I don't want to have to say that line though. I want to be able to say, "Yo, I love you as much as that other guy. I'm also just as thoughtful. I also am living an A game life, while he's only living a C game life. I've got my shit in order, and I'm prepared to care for you way better than the other guy."